Ludovico Einaudi

I've discovered a genius.

http://www.myspace.com/ludovicoeinaudispace

Phew

The passport came and I went up to collect it personally, Nathalie bought me and her a holiday to Corfu for two weeks before I start uni, her grandparents wanted her to spend it on a holiday for her to go travelling on her own, but she told them she didn't want to see things without someone to share them with.

So we're off to here -

Which will be amazing.

Apparently if you swim up the Canal D'amore you'll be in love forever.

Royal Mail are still cunts.

luffs

xx

Fucking bollocks shitting hell

I’ve gone from being ecstatic to devastated within the last few minutes. Me and Nathalie had planned on going away the week before I set off for university to Nissaki which is a little area at the top of Corfu, nice, secluded woodland spilling onto beaches and harbours with water temperatures at 24’C to just set down and relax and go to university completely unstressed and happy.

Today I thought I’d just check up on my student loan, having sent my passport off to the civic centre to confirm my name and identity and such jazz, I rang them up to see how it was all going, only to be told they hadn’t received my passport. Fuck. I’m screwed. Good and proper, I’ve got my dad running around to the post office almost leaping with glee interspersed with what I’m sure he believes to noises of concern but from here all I can hear is

“you won’t be able to go on holiday now”

“you might not get the money for your loan through now”

Fantastic, if my heart hadn’t turned into a brick already then those statements of what I was already thinking said out loud really did just hammer it down my body. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It’s even more infuriating that I thought I’d be saving time by sending it through the post, not knowing when I’d be in town next to drop it into the civic centre personally. What an utter fuckwit. Jesus. So here I am, Nathalie thinking it’s my personal fault the Royal Mail are absolute fucking idiots, that we can’t book our holiday till I know what’s happening, till I know I can actually go abroad. I feel sick and an idiot. I knew something like this would happen, whenever I’ve ever EVER had to do anything concerning any sort of administration I’ve always had trouble, never get an easy ride.

The last two days have been too much for me to handle.

The Royal Mail are currently on strike so I have no way of knowing if it’s lost or just held up for God knows how long, but either way every day that goes by is a day longer that I fuck things up for me and Nat, I can see the foreseeable future being utter hell.

Loves

x

I'm not dead!

Just well busy!

Latitude (In Pictures)

A word account will follow as soon as I can remember how it all happened.

I suggest watching this -

slideshow of events

love

xx

To understand that it's sometimes hello and sometimes goodbye.

Heylo there, well it’s arrived, by that I mean Nathalie is now a big sister, to a little Girl. It’s weird I’ve of course not been really connected to all of these baby goings on because I’m just her boyfriend person but I’ve been there more often than not over the last month and a half and I’ve felt all their trials personally, I’ve lost sleep so I can only think how happy they are about it all, I wonder if the enormity of it all has sunk in for them yet, most of all Nathalie. If she’s anything like my sister, who was 12 when my mum had me quite late she probably thought she’d never have a brother or sister. My sister hated me when we had to live in the same place, but once she moved out I became less of a burden more of a little brother. I guess people take to it all differently.

I’d be reporting all of this in much greater detail if it weren’t for the fact that with every happy moment there always seems to be a bit of sadness, Nathalie has been away at the funeral of someone she loved very dearly, although the exact relation escapes me at the moment, her mum talked to me about her once, taking Nat when she was very little into the house and coming out both dressed up as a cats to do ballet. Going from that story alone I can see why she’s going to be missed.

It’s made me think about my nana. Which is the only person close to me that I’ve ever known to die, with the age of my parents meaning that all the other grandparents already popping off to the shops she was the only real old representative of the Marshall family a title which now falls on her three children I guess. One who stole off my dad, one who abandoned us and went off to live in Devon and that won’t reply to our letters and my dad, who’s probably just about cantankerous enough to be an elder of our family all said

But having someone crying on you makes me think that I’ve never cried about her ever, not even when I was at the funeral, part of me thinks I was too young, part of me thinks I’m an emotionless freak.

I don’t deal with deal well, I fear I’ll be inconsolable when my dad goes, but he seems not to care, he smokes enough to have been dead ten years ago at least.

I don’t think any of us value what we’ve got as much as we should, go out, make babies, buy carpets, hug naked, drink tea, lie in the grass, feed the ducks, live live and live some more because your life is what you do with it, don’t just sit around and wait for it to end and then complain that you never had the chance.

Lets take the rough with the smooth. This time anyway.

Good Morning!

Ok well, half way through one hell of a weekend, which started thursday but we'll let that one go eh? Thursday was excess to the point of black outs, I have very little idea where we went and what we did other than me and Philip my fellow Smiths confident hijacked the jukebox to play 6 Smiths tracks in a row, which was most most excellent. Nathalie poured Jägermeister over me, and we had a very bad kebab. Most excellent.

Then woke up at eight the next day to spend all day helping Nathalie move out, most of which I spent outside feeling as if death was stalking me around every corner, extreme drinking, extreme hangover. Bleugh. I felt like slightly warmed death. Greasy hair gives me away more than smiles ever could. Judge me by my hair state. Always.

Which reminds me I'm getting it cut on wednesday. Awesome times. This blog has decended into a diary.

So yes, lots of moving and labelling done yesturday and Nathalie's new house is utterly gorgeous and I really wished I had the maturity and money to buy a house like that, it was old and lived in but warm and so so light every room just seemed warm and inviting, cosy in the winter, alive in the summer, it's the perfect house for them to become a family and I feel certain Nathalie will be part of it all, if she lets her mum have her way.

And then for Bright Eyes, which was absolutely stunning, I'll be honest, he's a brilliant performer, he's got the songs, he's got the confidence and he's got the band now, a whole ten piece, 3 drummers, one synth and brass and violinists and chelloists. They all appeared on stage dressed in white, all very impressive. I can't write reviews, but it was fantastic, but he needs a hair cut. But me and nat and me mum had lots of fun, and we met up with Joe from way back when, and that was really nice.

(Joe)

And so I'm home now, trying desperately to recharge batteries, and steady myself for a big houseparty/going out tonight. I've had a big breakfast and I'm off to the shops in a sec to sort out provisions, but the plan is to move around very little all the same!

No baby as of yet, and my gosh isn't LiveEarth a bit shit? They all seem a little pre-occupied with playing their latest singles.

xx

+ extra pictures cause I love you

(Bright Eyes, least my interpretation of)

Salut!